I thought that the day would never come... that my life would depend on the morning sun

"All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was.  I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory.  I was naïve.  I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer.  It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with:  that I am nobody but myself."  

 Ralph Ellison

Now or never.

Simple as that.

Only time will tell...

Watch this space. 

Big things to happen in the coming weeks/months.

You have been warned. :p

Sometimes... Just sometimes, a picture can be better than words.

She keeps a picture of the body she lends... snap a shot with the lens.

Sometimes, when I actually have the time... I do a little thing like traipsing around the country side and taking a few pictures when the need calls for it. Whether it be nature, live shows, random objects around my house, my cat or whatever is in my backyard, it's all the same to me and means the world.

Unfortunately, I can see the dust on my camera case and to know that it won't be coming out anytime soon.

I love Photography, always have. Can pinpoint the two exact dates when I fell in love with it. Once, when I was twelve taking a picture of the Clock Tower at City Hall in 1997, and again at the 2007 BDO while watching My Chemical Romance on stage.

I'm really not sure if it is something that I want to turn professional, or rather keep the love and the passion for it as a hobby.

Either way, I know it is something I know I will be doing till the day I die.

You wanna put two in my chest… I want to be the one in your head

Now for something a little obsessive, long winded and extremely self indulgent.

Music undoubtedly has more power than even most do believe, however the one thing that always fuses themselves to the lobes of my brain, are the lyrics.

I have a few personal favourite musicians that seem to somehow found themselves a direct link to both my heart and my brain, and who know just how to weave there words the right way to make it mean something.

For me, it is all about the connection you make. It is the thing I find most valuable and the greatest gift a lyricist can give. 

Being the AFI devotee that I am, Davey Havok would have to be at the very top of my list. The one thing I adore about this being is the in-depth mysteriousness he brings. Up until Crash Love he wrote with a hidden agenda and the serious belief in letting the listener fall in love with the music and lyrics without wrecking the interpretation, which made me only love him more.

He taught me that just because someone may see something as being a dark entity, doesn’t mean it isn’t beautiful. Because seeing beauty in any space, is where true light lies.

Gerard Way, now this man, is one in a million to me because he and his band of brothers showed me that insanity isn’t an illness, it’s a thought process.

He taught me that it is perfectly all right for your mind to wander into a cemetery full of evil, zombies, vampires and whatever the hell came along for the ride.

Every insane thought you had ever had wasn’t because you were wired wrong, but rather proving that you are real, that you exist. In a world where beauty queens are applauded over Noble Peace Prize winners, he showed me normality doesn’t exist, but real people do.

Mr Way changed my standpoint on the world – the more off centre… the better.

From the moment I heard Cities, I think I had already made a silent vow to follow Stephen Christian’s words wherever they went.

He and Joseph Milligan gave me a song to which I have used as my namesake for years now, and have enraptured me so much with their lyrics that sometimes I just want to steal as many verses as I can and hide away.

To me, sometimes he is more of a poet than a songwriter. Also being a published writer, I have such immense respect for this man and for the work he creates.

Also, this post wouldn’t be complete without a mention of both Adam Lazzara and Bert McCracken.

Even though all these men hold a place in my heart, it is not without realisation that their fellow band mates are just as responsible for my falling as hard as I have.

I think to say I’m extremely grateful, will somehow never be enough.

Waiting on a Dream

There must be something else she thought,

Amongst the whispers and the wind.

Straight lived lines and second hand quotes,

A stranger wanting home on more than a whim.

Days traded for a calendar passed,

Memories fading against used skylines.

She didn't want what she was suppose to,

Trying to see more than just a mind’s eye.

Something so much more for then,

and for now and the ever after.

Not just simple anecdotal events,

Used as a shield and by time and cover.

Wishes and lullabies spent on lost causes,

but society is the only one who deems them so.

Hope can change a moment in time they say,

but only applies to rules set in hypocritical stone.

More clocks tick with a little less fear,

as hopelessness now reigns supreme.

She takes solace now in her only escape,

A fantasy world laden with dreams.

There has to be something else she said,

to the cobwebs and ghosts of lives lived passed.

There just has to be so much more to this,

Then bidding time to what isn’t meant to forever last…

Taking to the fastest escape route south...

I never realised till I moved to my current location just how much the people in a town can make you hate a place.

Now, you could say it’s just me, however when you hear the same thing mentioned on a daily basis, it’s a bit hard to think I’m the only one.

I know it is ever so clichéd for one generation to say how much of a letdown the next is, but in this case it is so far past proven it's more of an acceptance. No respect, no gratitude and no responsibility. And why I have thought it to be just teenagers and so on, surprise surprise some of their parents are the worst.

In this day and age having a child seems to be the equivalent of having a pay check, and Peter Costello’s tagline from years ago, 'Have one for mum, one for dad and one for country', is running rampant. Problem is, I think some get confused and weren’t sure which father of their brood he meant. After all, when you are four paternity tests in and you still don't know, the more the merrier right?

Use all that money you freeload off of the government and buy a fucking clue.

End Rant.